To the flower that bloomed too early

To the flower that bloomed too early
I wanted to say,
I love you.

To the flower that bloomed too early
I wanted to say,
You were perfect.

To the flower that bloomed too early
I wanted to say,
Winter didn’t know what it was messing with.

To the flower that bloomed too early
I wanted to say,
The garden seems darker without you.

To the flower that bloomed too early
I wanted to say,
I love you

– 7/27/17

Happy Birthday

‘Happy birthday’ why do people say that. And why do I have to respond with ‘thank you’. Is it that you’re happy I was born, cause I’m not. Or is it that you’re trying to help me celebrate, cause I’m not. Why am I pressured to be happy on my birthday? Why am I pressured to make it perfect? My life is far from perfect or happy. In fact I regret my birth. So don’t tell me I should enjoy it. I hate it. I hate existence. I wish I never happened. So why should I celebrate. No. for I morn today. I regret today. I’m not happy, don’t expect me to be.

I’m not sure why we celebrate birthdays anyways. You might as well say ‘hey you’re not dead yet. Yay!’ Though I wish I was.

Sometimes I wish people didn’t care about me, that my actions were none of their concern. Then I could be selfish. I want to be selfish. If I could have one wish today, Id wish today away. Id wish me away.